Rant & Rave

Happy Birthday Pixy!!

2009-01-09T14:59:37Z

Hope you have a great day!!!

Hugs & Kisses!!

Shouldn't an insurance company know the difference?

2009-01-06T16:45:43Z

I am looking for a psychologist or councelor that is covered by my insurance. Shouldn't be too difficult... right? So the website gives me a list of names that is a billion miles long... then I find out that none of them are covered. So I call the number for 'member services' on the back of my card. I explain to them what I'm looking for, they send me to a 'member services specialist'. I talk to this woman and she puts me on hold. When she gets back, she says, "You could just go to a psychiatrist."

I tell her that we have a psychiatrist for prescribing medication, but need a councelor or psychologist to talk to.

"I was told they are the same thing. One can prescribe medicine, is all."

I was appalled. "No. They are very different. A psychiatrist spends 45 minutes with you on the first visit, to evaluate you. Then they spend 15 minutes with you, once every 1-6 months, then write another prescription. A councelor or psychologist spends 45 minutes to an hour with you, talking and leading you to help behavior."

She repeats, overtop of me, while I speak, "I was told they are the same thing."

When I finish, she quits speaking to me. I finally hang up, after 10 minutes of listening to her type and not answer any questions or concerns.

Now, shouldn't the insurance company people know, or have access to information that tells them, the differnece? Grrr...

Time for Reflection

2008-12-23T13:32:34Z

Every December, I find myself reflecting on the year that is now behind me. There is usually some good mixed with some bad events, decisions, feelings, etc. I do my best to not go through the "what if" stage, and just spend a little time burning the memories into my mind... especially since having children. It seems like time goes so fast. This year, however, I find myself reflecting back further in my memory.

A guy I knew in high school died last week. My brother noticed the obituary in the newspaper, and I immediately did a search to find out what had happened. There was nothing in any papers or online that mentioned an accident. There was nothing in any of his obit. printings that mentioned a fight with cancer or heart diseae. There was nothing to indicate why a man, only 36 years old, was no longer out there in the world. I couldn't let it go, though. I have very few contacts to my childhood. I don't talk to many of the people that were friends with me back in high school, or in the small town I called home... but I talk to a few. I asked around, and they asked around. Finally, I heard back that he had taken his own life. I stopped then, though I want to know more. I want to know why... but I never will. Not just because he's not here to tell anyone, but because it looks like he had no one to tell anymore. Maybe that in itself is why...

I know it sounds odd that I'm in such a titter over some guy I knew in high school... but I didn't just know him. He was second only to one guy, in the list of men that have intertwined themselves in my high school years. I dated him... twice. He took me into a social group that I was unfamiliar with and soon realized I didn't want to be a part of. He treated me like a queen... yet he was the most controlling man I ever dated. He was also, later, someone I could talk to about anything, as a friend. He listened and made me smile. He tormented himself, and me a bit. I make him sound horrible, but he was just a teenage boy, lost and searching. I was a teenage girl who'd been lost for years, and was searching. Maybe that's why he's intertwined in so many memories... we were different, but so alike.

Whatever it was, his death has led me to think about days gone by... and I find that I'd rather not. Part of me wonders if I shouldn't have kept in touch with all those people that were so important to me back then. I wonder what I have missed out on. With the exception of family, many of whom were raging alcoholics at the time, no one in my life knows me from that time in my life. Another part of me knows, however, that if I had stayed there, with all of them, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have met my husband or made my beautiful family. I may never have found a me I could live with.

My heart breaks for him. it breaks for his parents and brother. It seems he didn't get less tormented as time passed, and for that I am sad. What tormented him, I was never sure... but something did. As my sister-in-law has pointed out to me a couple of times, the well known statement, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, " only works if it doesn't kill you...

I'm going back to my reflection now... but only on the last year. I'm going to think about meeting my daughter and my 2 neices. I'll remember the trip to Minnesota and times at Turner Lake. I'll be greatful to have my SIL back in my life after a time of tension between us. Then I'll sing some Christmas carols. I'll remember the rest after theholiday...

Stolen from a Pixy

2008-12-03T17:45:21Z

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Wrapping paper...Though I've been known to throw last minute gifts (or really odd shaped gifts) into a bag.

2. Real tree or Artificial?
Real, much to hubby's dismay

3. When do you put up the tree?
Whenever we can get all of us together of an evening. Usually within a week of Thanksgiving, though ideally, Thanksgiving night.

4. When do you take the tree down?
January 6th or later. Why? January 6th is the Catholic Feast of the Epiphany, twelfth day of Christmas, etc.

5. Do you like eggnog?
It's okay. We usually have a little, but we don't stock up or anything. Though there are days leading to CHristmas when I think a good spiced rum/eggnog mix would be delightful. (maybe in mass quantities)

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
Cabbage Patch Kid, probably... I don't really remember much.

7. Hardest person to buy for?
My Brother, probably

8. Easiest person to buy for?
Right now? Celesta because she'd be happiest with an empty box or random bowl. Always, probably Cyndi or my mother.

9. Do you have a nativity scene?
I have more than one: My Charming Tails & a couple or undividual knickk knacky ones.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Mail.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
The cock clock. lol Big rooster clock.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
Miracle on 34th (old one)

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
I normally shop starting the day after Christmas and periodically throughout the year. I buckle down the middle of November, though.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Maybe... though I normally don't.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Pumpkin pie, though I forget and think I want other things... Then I eat a piece and wonder what I was thinking.

16. Lights on the tree?
White

17. Favorite Christmas song?
I LOVE Christmas music! I hum some of it throughout the year to ease my stress. lol My favorites are more traditional: Silent Night, The First Noel, Hark The Herald Angels, Oh Little Town of Bethlehem, etc. I am very fornd of Favorite Things done by TranSiberian Orchestra.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
Home, mostly. Though we do go to my In-Laws sometime in the season, usually a few hours Christmas Eve.

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolf... forgive the spellings

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Angel

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?
We do all our regular stuff CHristmas morning, though we do have other get togethers where we open gifts... like at the In-Laws.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
Bad weather and stupid people. Also, I hate the crowds at teh stores when all I want is a gallon of milk or some mittens for the kids.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?
Red, Green, and gold themed

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?
Uh... we did this... Pumpkin Pie. I also believe in turkey (though it'll be turducken this year, probably), not ham.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?
Books, sewing patterns, sewing books, stuff, lol. Now, ask me what I'll get. lol

Court Appointed Special Advocate For Children??

2008-12-03T16:22:07Z

I found this opportunity on a volunteer web site for Kalamazoo County. I sent for information months ago. I've had the application for a couple of months. I'm really interested in doing this, but I have reservations. First, my husband is concerned that I will be spreading myself too thin. He feels that I may have enough on my plate with my own children. Second, he might be right, and maybe I should consider getting a paying job before taking a volunteer position of this caliber. Third, I'm not sure I can do it. Am I objective enough for a position like this??

What does the position involve? It requires 18 months of service. There is a 35 hour training program. Once this is done, I'd basically be the advocate for neglected and abused children in the court system. I would provide objective assessments of people, places, and other matters affecting each child's life. I'd be able to make a difference in the lives of children besides my own. Another level of protection in the interest of the child.

I think I'm ready to fill out the application.

Biting off more than I can chew??

2008-11-30T14:46:02Z

Yesterday, we spent some time catching up on shows taped by the DVR earlier this week, and one gave me an idea. I'm not sure which rock my head has been under, but I'd never heard of Turducken. A Turkey stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a chicken. I am sooo going to try this for Christmas dinner this year... I think. I've looked it up, and this site looks promising. Should be a snap, right? The only foreseeable issues are...

I have to come up with a couple more stuffing recipes we'll all like (I make a sage, bread recipe that's been made for four generations, though I have adjusted it each year to make it better)
Not only do I have to find enough time to debone 3 birds, but I've only ever deboned a chicken breast. lol
I've never cooked duck.
I have to add all these extra things into a schedule that involves last minute shopping, cooking all the desserts, and getting extra sleeping arrangements around for all of our company. Did I say desserts? I meant 95% of the food... (which is what I like to do, so I'm not really complaining, just worrying).

Still, I think I'm going to try it just for the novelty. If I find it's too much work, but we like it, I will enlist help next time. If not, well then I guess we suffer through it for one holiday. Maybe the desserts can take everyone's minds off from it, in that case. lol

Family Fun & holing up to avoid the crowds...

2008-11-29T13:02:58Z

Thanksgiving went pretty well. In fact, there was like no drama. With eight adults and three children, one usually gets a huge amount of craziness, but we all chatted and there was little fighting. It was nice. I even hot everyone to do a "Thankful Leaf" for a new tradition my daughter and I decided to try. (I will explain in a minute). My Uncle Otis came down, which was different because we rarely see him anymore. It was just a really good day, even though we had a sick child. If I could have done any one thing differently, I would have magically poofed away whatever had my niece running a temp so that she could have had more fun and my brother and SIL could have been able to worry less.

Okay, the Thankful Leaf/Thankful Tree project. My daughter and I were having a long talk about all the things we take for granted. Not just family and friends (which is a big one), but little things like the awe of the first snowfall and the sudden moment of quiet that can sometimes engulf the house. So, we talked about some of the things we're thankful for and decided it would be nice to make sure we do that every year. So, we decided to make a Thankful Tree. Each year when we do Thanksgiving, the people that come to Thanksgiving will add a leaf, complete with their name, the year, and one or more things they are thankful for. We started this year with the outline of a maple leaf, sectioned it off into six pieces, and had people decorate it and fill it in with 6 things. Sometime this week, they will be laminated and put into a box for next year. We will also be creating a big tree to put them on. Next year, the leaves may be something smaller, with only 1 or 2 spaces for things... encouraging each person to think of something other than what they did last year, so as to add to each person's thankful list. As kids get old enough to participate, more leaves will be added to the tree. Yeah, I know it's kind of cheesy, but our families have had a rough couple of years and I thought it couldn't hurt to be reminded that we all have things that are good in our lives. Sometimes the cheesiest things are those most likely to come to mind at the times they're most needed to bring a smile or help us get though something tough. Beides, the kids will have a ball. lol I'll try to remember to post photos of our craft once the new computer arrives.

Hubby went out yesterday... not just to go to work. He actually went to a couple of stores. It was so funny to see his face when he got home from buying 2 pairs of new dress pants for work. He usually spends like $40+ per pair, and he was able to find two pair for only $30 total. He was geeked. Me too, for that matter. He went and paid a bill for me, plus dropped off rent, so I didn't have to go out in all that craziness. My after Thanksgiving shopping took place online, where the idiots are hidden from me and definately not annoying me or cutting me off on the road or in parking lots. I know that some people may think that's harsh, but I cannot help myself. The day after Thanksgiving crowd once made me cry because I was so excited about Christmas (I love this time of year, when it doesn't depress me... lol) and all these throngs of people felt that the best way to show thier Christmas spirit was to crowd, push, argue, and yell at anyone not moving a billion mph. *shrug* So, I shop online. No tax and free shipping added to the great deals doesn't hurt either.

In non-holiday related news, I think Celesta will be walking by Christmas, or shortly there after. She's been standing next to the furniture for months (like since she was 4-4 1/2 months old) and now she's begun cruising along it. She's only 8 months old. I wish she'd slow down. lol

Well, babies are crying all around me, so I guess I should go attend to one. I think my daughter and niece feed off each other, especially when they first wake up.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T12:54:19Z

Just a quick post to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving! I'm putting the finishing touches on my stuffing (which I actually stuff the turkey with) and then I'll be able to put my turkey in (23 pounds!!!). Hoping for a non-stressful day. lol

Hope you all can keep the stress away, kick back and relax, and enjoy Turkey Day!!

Dead computer, New computer, panic attacks, and more

2008-11-24T12:10:32Z

Well, my computer stopped booting. I'm pretty sure that Windows is corrupted, but I won't be doing anything with it until the one I ordered is delivered. It actually quit in the evening a few days ago, but I shrugged it off and went to bed. Somewhere in my mind I had decided it would be fine in the morning. It was't. I had a panic attack. Suddenly I realized how much of my life is on that computer. All of my appointments, birthday reminders, anniversaries, photos, videos, etc. I have backed a ton of it up onto disk, but I know I missed things because I don't back the thing up like I should.... Serious panic attack mode. On the bright side, we were able to bring out the first computer Joshua and I bought together (almost 10 years ago) and it'll function for a little online contact...

Speaking of panic attacks..... My father is a GM retiree. While he is recieving partial social security benefits, the majority of his income is from his pension. These things going on with the auto industry have him, and us, concerned. If something doesn't happen, he definately looses his insurance; possibly his entire pension. He won't be able to afford the apartment he's lived in for the past 24 years. (I should note that he pays less than any other person renting there because renewal rent rates increase less than new people coming in... every year or so for 24 years... adds up to a ton of savings). He busted his ass for years for GM and now he may loose all the security he relied on. WHich means he'll be here... in my home. It's not even something Josh and I had to discuss. When Dad mentioned it, we both immediately said he'd come here. We knew we'd have him someday... It's just that he and I tend to butt heads and it'll suck to have to spend time figuring out how to make him understand that this is my home... my job... my rules for the kids. Just a bit of panic at that thought though... it's what you do. Right?

As an aside, I told my Mom & Step Father, jokingly, that if they really love us kids, they'd take care of my Dad. They do have a basement with a finished portion that he could stay in. My step dad laughed and said he thinks Josh and I have plenty of room. When I pointed out I'm already one bedroom short for my kids, he said they and Grandpa should double up. lol Can't blame a girl for trying, even in jest.

Getting ready for the holidays hasn't gone as smoothly as I'd hoped. There will be another last minute push with the cleaning and laundry.. though not as bad as last year or the year before. The big thing is getting the kids to clean up their rooms. I have given them until 7pm on Tuesday, at which time I will clean up the remaining messes myself... with a trash bag. I hate to throw their things away, or give them away, but this is getting ridiculous. At one time, they were lacking a bit of room/storage because their rooms are so much smaller than the old house, but we've taken care of that. We have 6 people spending the night on Wednesday, so we need places to put the mattresses.

Well, it's time to start the day. I am going shopping for the last of the holiday food, though I'm still working on what will be for supper Wednesday night... I borrowed a book of holiday stuff from pixy_dust_79 , when I was at her home 2 nights ago. I'm hoping something will jump out at me...

only1opinion @ 2008-11-06T12:40:00

2008-11-06T17:40:18Z

Picture this, three days before Halloween (2 days before the first night my kids would go trick-or-treating) and we have no costumes. It's 9am, we're at the store, and i cannot imagine paying those prices for costumes. I have 3 kids. At at least $18.00 per child, we're looking at almost $50.00. No way. So, my hubby and I decide I will make them. Charity will be Dorothy, Celesta will be Toto, and Riley will be a Jedi. Sounds okay, right? Well, let me tell you that I have a sewing machine, but I've never learned to use it. I did a project in Home Ec in like 7th grade, and I tried a couple things about 4 years ago (and failed miserable). Still, I thought I'd try... with 2 days to do it.

Hubby wanted Jedi costume, too, so I did him one. I finished the guys and moved on to my oldest; which required some sort of understanding of actual clothing and elastic... but I got it sone. So, 3 down. Celesta's costume.... bad. Really really bad. I didn't have the time to do details because I still had to do laundry, housework, take the kids to their activities, play with kids, cook, clean, etc. So I ended up buying her one on the way to my MIL's house on the 30th, where they got to go trick-or-treating.

ALl in all, I think I did pretty well... especially for 2 days and learning to use the sewing machine as I went. In fact, I'm wondering what I could do with some sort of patter... Did I mention I didn't have patterns? Yeah, I just looked at pictures and made the clothes.
T
and the costume we got for Celesta. Let me know what you think. By the way... I spent $26, including Celesta's costume, and I have enough fabric left over to make other stuff... hopefully with patterns. lol

Can anyone say advertisement?? - No, just support in Michigan

2008-10-08T13:16:52Z

I need to start by saying that, in my experience, people on both sides of the Iraq issue believe we need to support our troops. People who want to get out feel that our soldiers should come home to their friends and family. People who believe we should stay there feel that, in arguing against the war, we leave our soldiers feeling like they've been there for no reason. Both sides, however, have strong feelings about doing right by our troops. I have opinions on the Iraq thing, but that's not what this is about. Whatever people feel about it, I hope they'll take the time to read the following, mark their calendars, and support this project.

There is a group out there called Homes For Our Troops. They help those soldiers that have come home with injuries and disabilities. Imagine coming back to the states, severely injured, spending months or a year in hospitals, only finding that your home cannot/ does not have the things needed to allow you to recover or survive. You can't go home to your family because your wheelchair won't fit through the doorways or travel up and down steps to bedrooms or bathrooms on upper or lower floors. Imagine needing machines to help you breath or rehabilitate you, but there's no way you, even with the government's help, can afford to put them into your home. Your family has to visit yu in hospitals, but you cannot go home. Well, that's what this organization does. It basically helps these soldiers to go home.

HERE IN MICHIGAN, in Middleville, actually, there is a young man by the name of Cpl Joshua Hoffman that was injured in Iraq and this group is helping to build him a home to suit his needs. The American Legion is helping, and other companies are doing fundraisers. (My father-in-law was on site last weekend, working on this with the Stevensville American Legion). Applebees is doing a pancake breakfast in many Michigan stores (corporate locations) and the proceeds will go to this organization, specifically to help in the Michigan chapter. So, I'm hoping that people will mark their calendars. November 8 8:00am -10:30am. Each ticket is $5.00. The list of participating Applebees is seen here. Personally, I'll be at the Comstock Applebees location on Gull Rd. in Kalamazoo, if anyone wants to join me. I'm hoping people will spread the word.

Remember, whatever one feels about the war with Iraq, these soldiers signed on to defend our country and they need our support. This is one way to do that.

Similac to Give away - Finished

2008-04-25T21:46:21Z

Somehow, I ended up having 2 cans of Similac formula sent to me by the company due to some new baby mailing list I ended up on. I nurse and supplement with Nestle Good Start, so I have no need for these. I am giving them away and willing to ship to anywhere in the U.S. I'd just like to have the shipping cost of $5.00 covered for each one. I think it's fair and it's still saving over $10. Here's what I have:

*** Similac Advance Infant formula (light blue can of powder) 12.9 ounces - USE BY FEB 1, 2011
*** Similac Isomil Advance SOy FOrmula (very pink can of powder) 12.9 ounces - USE BY MARCH 1, 2011

As these are the only 2 I have, it's a first come first serve basis. All comments will be private, so we can set up payment of the $5.00 and get shipping information!

*** Pixy_dust_79 is going to take the formulas to her daycare because she has infants that use these kinds!

Fire and Mayhem? Or not...

2008-01-20T13:07:39Z

It's about 20 minutes past midnight. I'm sleeping and the phone is ringing. Groggily, I answer the phone, thinking it's my husband calling to say that, by some miracle, he's going to be headed home soon. This happens sometimes, even though the restaurant was open until midnight. Rarely, but sometimes. Instead, I take a 3 minute phone call that stops my heart and wakes me completely. The call is from the security company at my husband's work. They call him when the alarm goes off at night. The woman says something about being from the security company and something about a fire alarm. She doesn't ask who I am. She doesn't begin by asking for my husband. She tells me that a fire alarm is going off at his work and that no one is answering the phone. Then she asks for him & when I tell her he's at work, she tells me that he should be answering the phone if he's there.

Suddenly, I want her to go away. All I can think is that, if he were able to, he'd answer the phone. Why didn't he answer the phone? Apparently, I said this out loud because it dawns on this woman that she may have said something wrong. She asks my name to verify that she called someone, tells me he's probably outside with the fire department, and hangs up! Yeah, really. I sit there with the phone in my hand for a second, then quickly dial his cell number. I mean, if he's outside the building, he'll have it on... right? It goes directly to voicemail. Panicking, I take a minute, then call his store. One of his keys answer and I can hear the alarm in the background. I ask for my husband and the guy tells me everything is okay and that he's on the phone with the security company. He says there must be something wrong with the fire alarm system because they cannot find any smoke or anything. Apparently, my husband did answer the phone when the first call came from the security company, but the other line rang and he thought finding the source of the fire more important than figuring out who else would be calling that late. Security lady said, "Ooops! Must have been a mix up on our end!"

The key gave Josh a message to call back after dealing with the issue. When he called me back, he had good news and bad news. The good news? The fire alarm said the fire was in the men's employee bathroom and there was no fire. The bad news? The stupid alarm could not be turned off and he had to wait for a security technician to show up to fix it. More bad news? There may be a cost for the fire department responding to a false alarm. There is normally a cost for maintenance to the security system, though the people were there for preventive maintenance less than a week ago. Both costs coming from hubby's bottom line and possibly affecting our bonus. So, thanks to a faulty wire in the ceiling of the men's employee bathroom, and a security company that needs to review their policies, I got to receive one of the most frightening calls of my life, then find out it only cost us money. I will remember that woman's voice for the rest of my life. For her sake, I hope she doesn't get the job of calling at 2 am the next time something sets off the alarm. I may have to pay more attention to her name...

In the meantime, my husband will put a call into the home office about what happened. All I know is, if something ever happens to my husband, it better not be some stupid woman at the security company that tells me on accident.

Getting it together

2008-01-07T10:26:02Z

It's 5 am which is sooo not a good thing, as I've been awake for at least 2 hours. I just kept having to get up to go to the bathroom and finally decided I was too awake to get back to bed. I know I'm pregnant and all, but I don't think I drank this much liquid all day yesterday. lol

So, I started working on my resolutions. I have done a great job getting my control journal started and working on my daily routines, as well as setting aside date nights, cooking days, and office time. I'm even giving myself a "relax and renew" day and a total day off. Woo Hoo! Well, day off is probably a loose term, as I will still have to do the basics (like straightening) for the day, but at least there won't be added cleaning, errand, school, and other responsibilities. We did our first "date night" with the kids last Friday. Joshua took Charity skiing and I took Riley out into the snow and later baked cookies with him. (They weren't edible, as my 2 year old put more flour on the floor than in the bowl, but it was fun!) I also signed up for some story and play times at the library. The first one is this morning at 10:15am. Hopefully this will give both RIley and I the opportunity to meet more people.

Friday I finally have my ultrasound. I have been having signs that I'm further along than even I thought to begin with. At this point, with some of the things going on with my body, I wouldn't be surprised if this baby comes sometime in late February or very early March. I'm guessing I'm at least 32 weeks. Since they'll take him/her out at 39 weeks, we're taking about somewhere near the 25. I guess I'll know for sure after the visit.

Ooh! My dad is taking the kids home with him on Friday so that Joshua and I can have a date night of our own! I think we may just do dinner and a movie, but that is soooo much more than we've done in ages. I cannot even remember the last movie he and I saw in the theater together.

Last, but not least... my hubby got me a gift certificate to this place not far from here that has cake decorating lessons (his intent). They also do a bunch of other cooking/baking related functions, however. Though I'm still thinking about the decorating classes, I may see what else they do exactly. I figure that, not only will I get to learn something fun, but meet other women, too. Can't beat that!

Husband is an idiot... a rant

2008-01-01T01:18:33Z

Sorry for my end of 2007 rant. My husband is a restaurant General Manager. one of the stores north of his had a manager call in this afternoon and he called to say he was going to go work that store. I argued against it and he got off the phone with me saying that he would send one of the other managers. I called his store 10 minutes ago to ask him a question and they told me he's at another store. I am pissed. One of our biggest issues has long been putting the needs of the company above those of his family. Well, this is the forecast in the area:

"THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN GRAND RAPIDS HAS ISSUED A WINTER STORM WARNING...WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM 7 PM THIS EVENING TO NOON EST TUESDAY. THE WINTER STORM WATCH IS NO LONGER IN EFFECT.

SNOW IS EXPECTED TO DEVELOP ACROSS THE AREA THIS EVENING...AND WILL BECOME HEAVY AT TIMES. SNOW WILL CONTINUE DURING THE OVERNIGHT HOURS...AND DIMINISH IN INTENSITY ON TUESDAY MORNING. SNOWFALL AMOUNTS OF 6 TO 12 INCHES ARE EXPECTED TONIGHT AND TUESDAY MORNING WITH SOME LOCALLY HIGHER AMOUNTS EXPECTED. HIGHEST SNOWFALL AMOUNTS ARE EXPECTED ALONG AND SOUTH OF A KALAMAZOO TO LANSING LINE."

Now he's out in the boonies (because this store is only accessible through back roads from his store) and the weather is horrible. What would usually take him 15 minutes to drive is expected to take him at least an hour. AND IT'S NOT HIS FREAKING STORE!!!! How did it become the potential problem of my family that some other manager hasn't got the balls to tell his employee to come to freaking work?

New Years Resolutions

2007-12-31T16:26:43Z

New Year’s Resolutions

I don't normally do resolutions. It's not because I feel bad when I don't meet or exceed my own expectations, I'm used to that. It's because I don't understand them to be important and I therefore don't make them a priority. This year, however, I need to make some changes and I figure resolutions are as good a way as any. Here goes:

1.) Get medicated and do the things I need to do to take care of my bipolar.

2.) Become more active:

a.) join something with Riley - like a Mom's group or a reading group at the library
b.) Find something just for me - like a book club that meets biweekly or a cake decorating class
c.) Make monthly dates with each of my children and my husband

3.) Schedule family time with parents and in-laws on a monthly basis.

4.) Quit smoking

5.) Make 3 new could-be-friends in the area before February 15

6.) Get back into routines, like updating livejournal and getting homework done not last minute. Basically, end the funk of the last 6 months.

So, there it is. I've closeted myself off a lot since moving here, and even before that. It's time to branch out and start to be more than a mom & wife again. Mostly, it's time to take care of me and do things that have been on my "to do" list for quite a while.

Often Overlooked Hoiday Expenses

2007-12-28T23:13:45Z

My neighbor was talking to me at the mailbox this morning and I found out that my mail-lady is apparently unhappy with me. It seems that she is somehow related to the neighbor, a cousin's wife's sister or something, and spoke about it while the women were all out getting holiday manicures. What was my offense? I didn't tip her. I've lived here for less than six months and I've never met her. I did put a loaf of banana bread in the box for her, as I did every year for my very happy mail carrier in Benton Harbor. I just didn't give her cash. Neither did I tip the trash and recycling guys or even the UPS guy, though in my own defense... he put the box with my husband's speaker set in the snow in front yard, after knocking once on the door while I was in the bathroom (btw, the front yard is enclosed by a short fence and about 15-20 feet from my front door, on the other side of the cars that are parked there.)

I forget about the tipping of some people. It's horrible of me, I know. But on some level, I believe that most people get paid for the jobs they do. I tip my hairdresser, at least $5 and often more if I have my eyebrows done or something that takes more than 20-30 minutes. I tip servers and bartenders, usually about 25%, though less if I feel ignored or treated poorly. I tip cab drivers and the guy that pumps my gas at a full-service pump. I even get the baggers at the small time grocery stores that take my food to the car, or the guy that puts the large item I bought into my trunk. Forgive me please if I don't give a cash tip to the woman that discreetly puts mail into my mailbox, and fall back on the loaves of bread that I make for the managers at my husband's store. It was a full loaf, and not the mini loaf like I gave hubby's hourly associates. In reality, the associates probably provide more of a service to me, as their behavior affects my husband's mood and our income, but whatever.

I am confused these days about who I am supposed to give money to. I've read msbc's tipping tips. I've even seen others' blogs and some other news stories on it, but I'm left dumbfounded. I totally get tipping competent servers in a restaurant. They make their pay in tips. I understand tipping my hairdresser for the new look she gave me with little to no input from me. I understand some of it. What I don't get is when all these new people got added to the list and when it became okay for a service provider to tell me I forgot their tip. When did tipping become mandatory and, if it is, shouldn't the amount just be added to the original fee so as to make the rest of our lives easier? Do I have to give money to the guy who has forgotten to pick up my trash 7 times in 6 months? GRrrr! I hate this!

So, I've revised my gift guide for next year to include the mail carrier, trash, and recycling folks. I suppose that, by this time five years from now, I will have to add the woman that sent me in the right direction at the grocery store, the lady that rung me up and suggested a sale item, and the guy that turned on the pump so I could pump the gas myself... I mean, they all provide a service, right?

Writer's Block: It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2007-12-22T20:32:22Z

Share your favorite thing about this time of year.

View 33 Answers

Decorating the tree. The first snowfall. The excitement building for the kids. Having everyone over for dinner and stuff. Christmas music.

only1opinion @ 2007-12-20T16:41:00

2007-12-20T21:52:20Z

Less than a week until Christmas. Only have 3 more gifts to acquire. Everything we have bought is wrapped or waiting for Santa to put together. I have finished 2 of 3 days of baking for hubby's employees. Still have to do the shopping for Christmas dinner, one I know who all will be here. I have planned the dinner for the night before and breakfast for Christmas morning will be ready to just toss into the oven. Now, if only the house would clean itself.....

Making Christmas easier

2007-12-10T14:52:18Z

Well, it's been a hard year for portions of my family and also of my hubby's. With both families, in an effort to make things less expensive, alternative gifting ideas were offered. Two Christmas's ago, I had a shopping list that included 12 adults and 5 children, 2 generic gifts for a gift exchange, up to 6 coworkers, and my own husband and kids. Last year, we technically eliminated 2 people, by beginning to draw names at my parent's house, but it really didn't change the cost. This year, however, I suggested a Chinese Christmas for the adults at both my parent's house and my in-laws' house. It was, however, met with mixed emotions.

With my family, we would have gone on to do it, but with one sister moving to Alabama this week, and another unable to make time for us all to get together except for on Christmas Eve at like 8pm, the whole get-together is basically canceled. Unfortunately, I think this is a lot due to me, because I just couldn't see driving an hour and a half to my Mother's home to do Christmas that lasts until like 10 or so, then having to make the same drive back (weather permitting). Once home, we'd still have to do our Christmas Eve happenings, like midnight mass, reading the story of the first Christmas to the kids, and telling "Twas the Night Before CHristmas. Oh, and you cannot forget playing Santa. We'd be lucky to be finished before the kids woke up. Not to mention that I have a whole feast to make the next morning. It just wasn't feasible.

Hubby's parents were really receptive to the whole idea, however, and I thought we would have a go. However, his brother had a tough time with it. It wasn't personal enough for him. While I can concede his point, I must also note that, in drawing names, hubby and I run the risk of getting either his brother or sister-in-law. It isn't that I mind buying a present for either of them, but we really don't know them very well. Hubby and his brother haven't been that close for quite a while and we really only see them for large family get togethers or holidays. Fortunately, we got his parents this year, I think because my MIL knows our concerns. Apparently, we're going to draw names again before we leave, so that we have a year to think something up. That should work... I hope.

All of that said, I'm actually having a pretty good holiday season, so far. Most of our Christmas shopping is done, though my father will be down today to give me money to shop for the kids for him, as always. I have my baking planned for hubby's employees. I found a great new dessert recipe that I'll probably alter a bit and use for Christmas. Riley's old enough this year to really enjoy the snow. All of my Christmas presents have been wrapped as they were purchased. My SIL's cheesy potatoes made my husband and son the happiest guys alive at Thanksgiving and for a few days afterward. Charity's being helpful around the house, though Riley's been a bit of a terror. Still, all of my ornaments are currently in one piece, even if he did get to one of my Charming Tales. Our tree and all the decorations were up by the end of November. Lots of Christmas cards have already been mailed. Gifts have been shipped and should arrive any day. It's pretty good.

The bad spot? My step-father called me yesterday to say that my mother packed a bag and left yesterday afternoon. Don't know where she is or if she's going home. I would stress over it, but I don't think she's in any peril, just pissy. She's overreacting if the issues are what she says they are, and if they are not, then she cannot seriously expect for the two of them to work things out if she doesn't tell him what's up. I'm assuming she'll go home today, but I guess we'll see what happens. Truth be told, I feel bad for him because I'm not sure he has a clue what's going on and that make a lot of us.

*Shrug* Wouldn't really be my family if there wasn't something screwy about the holidays, right?

Wanna Swap?

2007-12-03T11:38:36Z

Christmas cards, I mean. I usually try to do this before Thanksgiving, but I'm a bit behind this year. Anyway, I'm hoping to get my cards out in the next week or so, and thought I'd see if anyone wanted to swap cards this year. If so, just respond to this posting with your full mailing address, then I'll respond with mine. Oh. All responses are screened, so noone else will see your address.

Babies, books, and Boring.... oh my!

2007-11-11T13:35:26Z

So, I joined a book-swap online and I'm loving it! I posted more than 50 books, mailed 20 of them, received 11, have 10 more on the way, and still have a credit for one. Since the only real cost is the shipping, it's been really inexpensive for me. I tend to ship out all of my paperbacks and I order at least 1 hardcover for every 5 books I have shipped in. That way I can continue to collect some of my books, but can repost 4 of them to send out and get more credits. My daughter is even loving it! She listed some books through me and is waiting for a couple to be picked up so that she can get new ones!! I'm averaging about $2.50 per book, considering how much I have paid for shipping, and that's cheap, even for the paperbacks that normally cost me at least $6.99. Hubby wasn't too sure about it, but I proved it was a good thing by showing him I've saved over $60 for the books I've read. If anyone's interested in joining, let me know by e-mail and I'll send you a link. (Brandywebster@charter.net) Or, if you want more information, let me know. It's basically a credit system... you get a book for every book of yours that someone requests... but you get 2 free for just listing 10 books.

Let's see. Class this session sucked and I'm glad it'll be over in 3 days. It was e-business which should have been interesting, but I had the worst prof. ever! She thinks she's funny, but she's dry and not like dry humor. She told us that our assignments, if written to cover exactly the topics she asked about would only get a B, so we had to go above and beyond to get an A. Not a problem, as I always do this. Hoever, apparently I don't go beyond in the direction she'd like me to, so I am averaging a B. Oh well, worse things have happened. It's just one of those annoying things.

Charity has joined Girl Scouts, and is loving it. She also begins ski club in January. She's looking forward to it, and I'm cringing thinking of the broken bones she'll probably have because she's less coordinated than Gumby. lol

Riley is 2. I don't think there's anything else to say there. He's actually more than half way to three, but the "terrible twos" is an understatement to his recent attitude. I seem to be able to get him to relax most of the time, but he's just sooo high strung. He's also let me know that my dreams of having him potty trained by he time the new baby comes is a joke. He's not really in a hurry, aparently. He did pretty good for a while, at least going after sleeping the night and each nap with some other visits in between, but he's decided lately that it's a fate worse than death to have to get on the potty. Oh well. It'll come, I guess.

The baby.... Well, I'd like to tell everyone when the due date is and all that jazz, but won't know for sure until after Tuesday. They gave me a tentative date of April 30, but that was based on last menstral cycle and even the midwife said that it was likely to be at least a month off. I finally met someone, in the medical profession, that had the same issue I have had... my menstral cycle with Charity didn't stop until I was almost 7 months pregnant, and with RIley, I was 4 months. This made up for the fact that I was seeing a midwife at all, since I have to have a C-section and specifically told them that I didn't want a midwife, I want to see the doc that's likely to be cutting me open. Also, it's been 9+ years since I had my daughter, but it's only been 2+ since my son... so why did I feel so out of touch with the doc office? Is t common preactice to fill out like 150 questions about your relationship with you baby's father? THings like: DOes he beat you? I feel physically or emotionally threatened? Etc....??? I may be lucky in that I don't have these issues. I know that. However, did I have to take an extra 15 minutes of forms to tell them that? COuldn't there have been a, "If the answer to 1 & 2 is obviously no, please skip to signature," thing?

Well, I guess that's about all. I don't find myself having too many deep thoughts these days... mostly sleep. Hubby is working, kids are nuts, and life is interesting, but boring. lol Feels like the story of my life, with the exception of the 3 week selling of the house and moving a few months ago. lol Could be worse.

Thoughts on Marriage

2007-11-01T23:03:41Z

So, my sister is having trouble juggling pregnancy, school, part-time work, and housekeeping. She gets annoyed with her hubby because he doesn't help enough... most specifically around the house. My mother advises that this is what happens when you get married too young. This thought both annoyed me and made me think. It annoyed me because I think most of us have this issue and I know my mother does with her husband sometimes. Was she too young to marry him, at more than 48 years old? Grrr.

The more I thought about the whole thing, the more I found it silly to even suggest that age is the issue. My hubby and I have trouble deciding on what each of us should do or should have done. I know my brother and sister-in-law have the same conversations. My mom has the same issue with my step-dad and my hubby's parents have gone to the "husband = money maker & wife = housekeeper" fallback, but neither of them is always happy about it. I think that housework is just one of those things.

Preachers and pre-marriage counsellors talk about the "big stuff." Do you know and understand each other's feelings about parenthood? What about religious beliefs? Do your views on the importance of family match? Have you discussed and decided on a way to manage finances? DO you respect each other? Do you love one another? What do you want out of life and does it match with your partner's goals? Even sexual expectations come into play. No where, however, do I remember someone saying, "Have you discussed how you will divide the household responsibilities?"

I believe there should be a whole questionairre on this topic. Some of the questions could be:

§ Have you discussed how housework will be divided between you?

§ Do you have systems of housework that will change with the onset of children, illness, ungodly hours at work, or sheer exhaustion due to any of the above or something else?

§ Are there consequences set forth that will be used to punish the person who falls short in his or her responsibilities?

§ Do both of you realize that there will be days, weeks, months… when one, the other, or both of you will just look at the housework and say, “Please not now. I just cannot”?

§ Can you afford to just buy new clothes, dishes, furniture, rugs, etc. whenever things get so out of hand that neither of you knows where to start (and the baby’s screaming, work is requiring overtime, and your family is coming)? If not, do you have a mode of attack planned? If you can afford it, can you get the dump people over in time?

§ Does at least one of you know how to operate the dishwasher? Separate laundry? Defrost the freezer?

§ Who will cook for who and when?

§ Can either of you cook? (this includes food that comes from a box or can)

§ When all else fails, do you have anyone to call for help?

Pregnancy and baseball

2007-10-29T11:23:24Z

When I was pregnant with my daughter, the Yankees won the World Series. It just so happens that her father is a Yankees fan. Still, as the Yankees have seen so many visits to the World Series in the past decade, that didn't seem like a big deal. IT was the pregnancy with my son that saw the Boston Red Sox come out of an 86 year slump to win the World Series. The Red Sox that happen to be my hubby's favorite team since he was old enough to choose for himself. We watched that game with tears in our eyes. This year, I'm pregnant again, and the Red Sox did it again. We watched all four games and saw the final pitch last night. It didn't bring on the same tears as 3 years ago, but it sure felt good. Right up until my hubby looked at me and said, "Maybe... Maybe we could have another baby next year?" He was joking... I hope. Still, I find it coincidental that my womb seems to be in line with the winning World Series Team. I told my hubby that maybe we could name this baby Manny. Ok, so not really, but David (Ortiz) or Jason (Varitek) doesn't sound too bad. =;P

Pondering homeownership... or idiocy, not sure which

2007-10-27T13:13:23Z

I was sitting at my hubby's restaurant listening to one of the girls complain about her home being foreclosed in a couple of weeks and how they just couldn't get the money. She was pissed because she missed a payment about 4 months ago when she decided to take 4 weeks off work so she could go to St. Thomas to party with her friends. The mortgage company wasn't working with her about catching it up. It turns out that her idea of "catching it up" is to send an extra $10 each month toward the back balance. Also, her payment was late each of the remaining months, thus the $10 didn't even cover the late fees.

So, she went on and on about how her hubby had quit his job because he didn't like his boss or coworkers or both, and now he didn't have a job, so this was the most they could send. Apparently, the mortgage company is run by assholes... per her. She proceeded to say that this is where they make their money... by foreclosing on people's homes. THe whole thing was a "This shouldn't be happening to me and my hubby and kid because we're such great people, but what can you do about money grubby assholes at a mortgage company..." type of thing. I got annoyed, but only chose to go to the bathroom before I lost it with the child.

Here are the issues I'm having with her whininess...

Mortgage companies do not make their money from foreclosing on home. In fact, it cost them money. First, there are the legal fees. Then there is upkeep to the home until it sells. Don’t forget realtor fees, and closing fees, and property taxes. Mortgage companies make their money from the interest and the origination costs. While they sometimes sue for the difference between the remainder of a person’s loan and the amount it sells for… what are the chances they are going to get it from someone who couldn’t even make the $900 payments? Even if they do, we’re talking time and legal fees.
If she was truly worried about the home that she wants for her family, she’d have waited until she had paid vacation, or taken less time off so that she would still have some income.
Her hubby didn’t like the people he worked with? Oh no! Nobody has to deal with that!! Instead he should quit the job with no other job to replace it, then they should blame the mortgage company because neither he nor his wife are responsible enough to make sure they continue their income. One would rather go drink for a month with friends, while the other gets some extra free time.

Do not get me wrong. I understand that people go through hard times. Real job changes and layoffs happen. Health issues happen. Inflation, rising property taxes, increased insurance rates, and other issues happen. People make mistakes and forget payments. Things get tight. All of these things happen. Some of them have happened to me. However, needing to party for a month for friends and taking a 1 month unpaid leave is a choice. So is leaving a paying job with no other options lined up.

** I should note that I wasn't the only person that got annoyed and the other person didn't keep her mouth shut.